Top 5 Sad Songs to Listen to After a Breakup

Everyone has been through a breakup – and if you haven’t, you might not know how heart wrenching or how liberating it can be. Even if you weren’t in love, breakups are very difficult and we can all use a good cry once in a while. Although girls tend to be more open about their tears and their emotions, most men will also result to tears when they realize that their loved ones are not with them anymore.

Try this list to get a few tears out of your system and hope that you can get a good night sleep, without waking up hoping that they are by your side in the morning.

1. Comfortable – John Mayer

2. I Can Feel a Hot One – Manchester Orchestra

3. Better Together – Jack Johnson

4. Tears and Rain – James Blunt

5. I’m Moving On – Rascall Flatts

….and one more for those Long Distance Relationships:

6. Hey There Delilah – Plain White T’s

These are my personal favorites, but please note that I will soon be following up with some more “hopeful – post – breakup ” music as we all need some music to show us the light at the end of the tunnel.

A Strange Act of Love

As much as technology is supposed to develop our society into a more connected and more social environment – it has in fact had the opposite effect up on us. With cell phones, laptops, iPhones, and Blackberrys, we can be connected to the internet 24 hours a day. So many people leave their cell phones on the table during lunch and check their blackberry under the table during dinner. Does it really take that much effort to dedicate ONE hour of your time to that special someone to spend a nice meal with them?

Looking back to this summer… I went to dinner with John, a guy I had been dating for a few weeks now, and he made a gesture that meant more to me than a bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates. John was a banker who checked his blackberry about every 5 minutes, typical for someone in Banking. I had no idea if it was his friends emailing him, another girl, or just maybe his boss. Regardless – I have learned to not let it phase me. I was used to his phone buzzing off the hook through our Calamari and our Fillet Mignon. It was Saturday night when he picked me up and we strolled over to this quaint French restaurant down the street. As we sat down, he took out his blackberry and I expected him to put it on the dinner table when powered it down! YES – turned it completely off. I couldn’t believe it! This is one of the strangest, but sweetest acts of affection I’ve ever experienced.

Maybe this is a life of a New Yorker, but try it – Bankers & Consultants, try turning off your phone for one hour – as risky as it may be … strangely, it might be able to show your feelings more than words can express.

Craving the Cuddle

If you related to my previous entry, this one might ring true for you…

What is a cuddle buddy? (As found in Urban Dictionary):

(n)partner in which one may cuddle with. Usually not in a relationship with one another, they only seek the affection of cuddling with another person

The idea of a cuddle buddy sounds so ideal. There is someone there you can show your affection to, and they areaffectionate to you with no strings attached. You do not have sex. You do not kiss. You may still be dating other people. You just cuddle. It happens maybe a couple times a month, but not much more than that. You are what most people call friends: you hang out, go to bars, chill with friends and then someone suggests the idea of going home together and cuddle. This is when you both go home, change into your pajamas, brush our teeth, and crawl into bed, pillow talk a little bit and fall asleep in each other’s arms. It is the modern version of having a platonic friend.

However, it’s hard to know if he has started seeing someone – when is it okay to invite him over for a cuddle? If he says no – maybe he just is not in the mood to cuddle that night.  Both parties don’t want the other to fall for them, but cuddling makes them feel safe and needed and wanted. Maybe there is a limit to how much cuddling can happen.  Similar to a failed long-term relationship, maybe this cuddle buddy action can become mundane if it occurs too frequently.

This feeling of hesitation to ask for a cuddle is similar, but lower level of the hesitation that is felt when asking to hang out with someone you are interested in. Does this mean that you are interested?  You could never imagine yourself dating him, but then why are you craving the cuddle.  Maybe he thinking the same thing.  Maybe he is beginning to be interested in you? Who knows – that is the best thing about having a cuddle buddy – it is the implied non-relationship, relationship.

So let me end this with saying – cuddle buddies are nice. If you have one or if one day you ever get one, there is no need to think about it. It’s just cuddling – not sex. Until sex complicates it.

Friends do fall in love.

I believe that it is inevitable. When people have been friends for so long, they learn more about each other than they ever first realized. You learn what type of foods they enjoy, what their pet peeves are, and the type of people they date. You also learn about the way they like to eat their ice cream, their greatest fears in life and even the most intimate details like their favorite sex positions. Friends are just like relationships without the sexual drama, but is this really the truth?

In a boy-girl best-friend relationship for example, if given enough time – one of the two parties will end up falling in love with the other and it will often times make this friendship very complicated. For a long time, that “best friend” of yours is the person that you go to for help with the boys or girls that you’ve gone out with and broke your heart. For a long time, that “best friend” of yours is the person that you want to talk to after that awful one night stand. They comfort you, hold you, and tell you that everything will be okay. When is it that the friendship line turns into the relationship line though? When I say relationship I don’t mean in the boyfriend-girlfriend way, but some mixture between sexual and emotional relationship.

I’ve been on both ends of these types of friendships before and it seems ideal that two “best friends” fall in love, but it never happens that way. It is often that I will think it too weird or they will. When your best friend falls in love with you, one would think you would be thrilled to hear that someone loves you. However, it is the one person that you never even considered romantically. As much as you may WISH you like them, it just isn’t so – he just isn’t your type.

Then again, on the flipside, I have definitely fallen for my friends before. I’ve thought about what it might be like if we were together. I’m not one to make a move, but sometimes I wish he would feel the same way. However, secretly sometimes I don’t want it to happen and I will settle for just lusting after him. One of the worst things is if a drunken mistake happens and then the friendship becomes akward and uncomfortable form that night forward. The other unfortunate result is when you get a taste of what it may feel like to be with them, and you end up falling for them even more, but they clearly don’t feel the same way.

To me, it is a very grey line between friends and more-than-friends. The only CLEAR line is that more-than-friends, is just friends with sex. Anything less could still be considered as friends. Once that sex-line is breached the relationship will never be the same again.

So – the lesson here is that you should make friends with people that you COULD be attracted to in the future, but at the moment you are not. Fun, attractive, witty, interesting friends are the best because maybe one day you will fall in love at the same moment and your search for a soul-mate will be over. Happy searching.

You missed out if you didn’t RIOT last night.

CONGRATS TO THE RED SOX FOR WINNING THE WORLD SERIES.. AGAIN!

TOP 10 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE RIOTED

1. RED SOX won the World Series AGAIN!
2. BOOBIES
3. To steal Boston Police road barriers
4. BOOBIES
5. To piss off the Boston PoPos
6. To flip cars
7. To pretend to be a pyro for one night
8. To climb traffic lights
9. To kiss random people
10. BOOBIES

And you thought Christmas was fun

Out of all holidays out of the year, most people would say that Christmas is their favorite holiday. Is this because they enjoy the Christmas spirit? Is it maybe the fact that they enjoy getting presents? Maybe some people genuinely get pleasure out of giving gifts to their loved ones? Egg nog anyone?

This isn’t the only that brings some joy – Halloween brings a different type of joy. It unleashes the “scary” and “slutty” within everyone. It originated as a traditional Pagan holiday full of scary costumes and trick-or-treating, but as you get older you realize it is just an excuse for girls to dress as scandalous as possible without any criticism. I would say about 70% of the girls that I’ve seen at Halloween parties over the past weekend have worn fish-net stockings, with 4in stilletto heels, skirts that look that they could fit their Barbie and low-cut stops that are seen on Las Vegas show girls.

It is sad how this holiday has evolved to become the “slutty holiday of the year”, but the boys do love it. The girls love it too – why else would so many girls dress as if they were headed to a strip club? I can’t even account for how many slutty cops and naughty nurses I saw on Friday night! Then again – I can’t complain. I too, got my “slutty dress” out of my system for the year. A few friends and I dressed as “Miss Behaved” (lingerie) , “Miss Deameanor” (handcuffs) , “Miss Chievous” (Devil Horns), and a male friend dressed as “Miss Take”.

Some of my favorite costumes of the evening were:

BumbleBee

The Classic Angels

Tits And Ass

 

 

An entry for the more RISK-Y readers…

What is it with MEN talking about boobs & butts all the time! I was asked the other day – if I liked “looking at other women’s tits or asses better?” First of all – what kind of question is this, but I entertained the question. If I were to choose between Tits & Ass, I would definitely have to say that I am an Ass girl. Not that this is a typical conversation, but I can say that I have been asked that question multiple times in the past.

It is funny how even though the Victoria Secret catalog is created for women to order online, a lot of the time – the catalog is thoroughly enjoyed by men. Not even just the lacy panties & new lingerie sections of the magazine, the ENTIRE magazine. The other day I had two guy friends sit down next to me and rate each and every piece of clothing in the magazine. They even loved the sweater section noticing the low v-neck cuts on the sweaters. However, the unanimous agreement was that “Santa’a Naughty Helpers” section was clearly the favorite.

The best discussion was : THONGS vs. BOY SHORTS? http://www.say-so.org/view/ea94i49v/
Thongs- showing more skin, under jeans very intriguing aka. when girls bend over, less the better, the string is fun to play with, shapes the butt nicely, covers the butt crack, no panty line

Boy Shorts- leaves more up to the imagination, keeps their butt looking tight, there are cute options and lacy sexy options, she can walk around in them and not feel like she is exposing too much, they seem more comfortable

This discussion lasted a good hour. Then of course, there was no conclusion. I would probably have to say lacy boy shorts would be the panties of choice. As much as people may not admit it – lingerie is a trend. This is WHY a Victoria Secret is so successful is that they create and run this trend – with the introduction of the new string bikini and the new reversable push-up bra. It is all in their brand strategy and marketing tactics. Each new line is created convincing women that they need new lingerie to keep their man happy. How else are they going to sell jeweled bras & uncomfortable baby doll dresses for $60 a piece.

Lingerie is never JUST lingerie – there is always a purpose behind it, whether it is comfort or for the sexiness.

 

Marriage Already???

…Don’t continue if you are already worried about finding a soul mate…

The other night I caught up with a good friend of mine. He was telling me about how one of his elementary school friends recently got engaged and his friend is only 22. This blows my mind – granted I do know some people around 21-22yrs old that are engaged, but it still bewilders me. I will still be in shock the day that one of my best friends invites me to their wedding. I’m not ready to grow up and I’m especially not ready to get married!

Then I started doing the math. I am currently 21 years old. Ideally, I would like to have 2 to 3 kids. Looking at it from a woman’s perspective (add 3 years if you are a man):

50 years of age: At the latest, I would like my oldest child to be 18 years of age.

32 years of age: Assuming that I have 3 kids and they are 2 years apart, this is when I would need to give birth to my 3rd child.

30 years of age: I would give birth to my 2nd child.

28 years of age: I would give birth to my 1st child.

26 years of age: Before having kids, I would like to be married for a MINIMUM of 2 years in order to enjoy the married life.

25 years of age: Before getting married, I would like to be engaged for a MINIMUM of 1 year in order to have time to plan the wedding.

23 years of age: Before getting engaged, I need to have a boyfriend. Ideally, I would date him for a MINIMUM of 2 years to have a solid relationship.

* this is debatable – a few friends have mentioned that they do not think I would be dating more than a year before he proposes to me assuming that it is the type of love where you fall head over heals within the first few weeks

Again, I am currently only 21 years old. I have 2 years to find the love of my life. To some this may seem like a long time, but this is not enough time for me! I have decided to not fret too much and hope that he will come by soon. I’m just taking it one step at a time – it all starts with that first date. We’ll wait and see if that first step happens. Those first dates sometimes don’t even turn into relationships afterwards. To be honest, as much as I love being in a relationship I don’t even know if I’m ready for a new relationship right now. I think that if I find the right guy, then I will put my heart into it, but unless he wants to be in a relationship with me too– you are just setting yourself up for heartbreak. You never want to be “that girl” who wants to be with someone, but all he really wants is “ass”. (Note: this does happen in the reverse case sometimes – where men want the relationship and girls want just the “ass”.)

I don’t like to think about marriage – that is too far in my future – my love life will hopefully just be fun and enjoyable right now.

Isn’t that a scary feeling though? The next person you meet, could potentially be your husband or wife? But then again, you could have met your soul mate already and just not know it. Think about all of those high-school sweethearts that get married.

What a ridiculous thought though – we could be married in two years.