“Dear Creepy Grad Student,
I am not a graduate student. I am not particularly looking to meet any graduate students. And I am not looking to date a graduate student – especially not you. So in the nicest way possible – whoever you are Mr. Creepy Grad Student, please stop trying to talk to me.
Sincerely, me “
It started on the first day of classes. We are now about a month into school and I am still being stalked by a man, who I now call “Creepy Grad Student”. I first met him in an elevator on my way to class. He seemed like a nice enough guy – around 24 years of age, 6-foot, dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. There wasn’t anything out of the ordinary about him, but then he commented on my bag and asked me where I got it. I told him that it was just a college bag that you can get in the bookstore. Then we walked off the elevator and walked down the hall – I assumed that his class was in the same direction. When I arrived to my class, I asked him where his class was and he said “Oh, oops – back that way!” Then we went our separate ways.
End of Day 1.
I thought it was the end of him, but I was wrong. I saw him the next day – just by chance when I was working outside of my classroom on my laptop. He came over to say hi and I politely smiled. He took this as “Yes, you may come sit down next to me even though I have my headphones on and my books out and look very busy.” Then he started talking – ignoring the fact that I couldn’t hear him and as I took out my headphones, he says: “Oh by the way, I’m sure you were wondering, but my name is –insert name here (I don’t remember) — ” I tell him I’m very busy and that it was nice speaking to him, but this was not clear enough. He tells me about his busy schedule and then pulls out his books, but sits with them and keeps talking to me. This finally ends when I get up to go to class and say goodbye.
End of Day 2.
This continues for the entire week and I start saying less and less – leaving our “conversations” if you can call them that, by saying I was late for class or I was meeting a friend. He becomes even more aggressive the next week. I mention one day that my “boyfriend” is coming and that I need to meet him. He still proceeds to sit down and say that he will keep me company until he arrives. This ends as I get up to “leave because my boyfriend txt-ed me to meet for coffee instead.”
The next day, Creepy Grad Student comes to talk to me – he starts rubbing my arm when he sits down to say hello. Now, this would be something that a GOOD friend would do MAYBE. I don’t even know this guy’s name! I see him around campus, but that is ALL. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t really seem harm in it, but next time I think I may tell him I’m allergic to people or something to that effect.
I don’t want to be mean, but I do NOT want him to pat my arm to say hello. It’s nice to have new friends, but when I am clearly not interested and a little creeped out – I think maybe you should wave to say hi from afar. I think he recently got the message, but he still sometimes sits down next to me to “keep me company”.
I’ve decided to give him the benefit of the doubt assuming that he is (a) oblivious (b) lonely for friends (c) does not understand to give girls their personal space. This would be seen as flirting if it were a guy I were interested in , but…
“Creepy Grad Student – I am not interested. Please be my friend from a distance or not at all. Thank you. Sincerely, me”
